The Pang of Happiness

It's Saturday morning. Have my exercise at around 6:45 am, twist, shake and jog for around 30 minutes then rest. After about 10 minutes, I go down to get a drink and took a bath. Then log in to one of my blog account to write something about taking a shower after exercising. I was scrolling up and down, trying to thing of what to write when I saw the drop down menus of hidden blog. "The way of heaven", was the blog that captured my attention. I can't remember much of the blogs I was following because I just got back now, after like 2 or 3 years. So I started browsing it, to find out it was the blog of my boyfriend. I read his post until I jump in to the blog where he posted songs he composed. The song "Hero of her Heart" was the one that catches my attention and soon I was reading the lyrics (well, I don't know it's tune). The reason why it catches my attention is because Justin Bieber was on the lyrics. I just found it odd that his name was there and I was supposed to tease him about being gay. I was laughing so hard then but as I get deeper in the lyrics, mas lalo akong na-touch. I was missing him for quite a time, and just by his compositions I was able to feel him near me. That even if he's physically absent, he still lingers in my heart. I called him pang of happiness for the reason that I feel pain without him near me but happiness at the same time by the fact that he will always be with me coz he's in my heart. He may not be Superman, Spiderman, Batman, or any other hero-man, and REALLY not JB, but he will always be the HERO of my HEART <3.

Hero of her Heart

There are times

That i see you unconsciously

Staring at the window

I don't know what's on your mind

There are times

That you feel alone deep inside

Who you gonna call?

Wishing you'll think of me

No I'm not your Peter Parker, 

or Justin Bieber

Damn I'm not the man of steel,

Superman

No I'm not your Peter Parker, 

or Justin Bieber

I'll be there in a Flash

I'm the hero of her heart

Shaken by your looks

Oh, --------------------

It feels like free fallin'

To the one that

destiny has written

No I'm not your Peter Parker, 

Who you gonna call?

Damn I'm not the man of steel,

But I'm always here

No I'm not your Peter Parker, 

or Justin Bieber

Damn I'm not the man of steel,

Superman

No I'm not your Peter Parker, 

or Justin Bieber

I'll be there in a Flash

I'm the hero of

I'm the hero of her heart

Choices and Sacrifices

nagising ako around 5:30 am dahil sa lamig. January pa lang malamig na agad. susme. then narealize ko mag-february na pala. haist naman. now i know. malamig na nga talaga. araw na naman ng mga puso eh. kabilang ako sa SMP. samahan ng malalamig ang puso. haha. nagimbento eh no? anyway, un nga. nagising ako, pumunta sa lamesa para buksan yung laptop ko tapos eto blog blog na habang nakikining sa kanta ni Kiroro na Bestfriends. aww fvck. bestfriends.. ayan na naman. naalala ko nnman siya. kagabi magkausap lang kami. pero halata ko na parang wala siyang ganang kausap ako. sabagay.. ikaw ba naman magkakagana kausapin ung taong sinaktan ka? martir na lang gumagawa nun.. pero kahit ganun kinausap pa din nia ako. ako naman, pinilit maging masaya kahit na masakit sa loob ko. masaya ako kasi kahit papano kinausap nia ako. kahit alam kong nagpapakatanga ako na humahabol habol sa kanya. eto lang kasi ung way na alam ko para kahit paano hindi nia makalimutan na nageexist pa ako. oo alam ko, gago ako. pinakwalan ko tapos hahabulin ko? eh anong magagawa ko? naipit ako eh.at dahil duwag ako harapin ung mga bagay, siya ung nasacrifice ko. masakit sakin. sobra. kaya lang nanjan na eh. i couldn't turn back time to correct my mistakes. hindi na ako puedeng bumalik sa past para baguhin ung decision ko. all i can do now is accept the consequences of my decision and bear it even though it kills me. pero alam nio may na-realize ako sa mga nangyari samin. una, hindi lahat ng nagmamahal sau laging nanjan. dadating ung time na iiwan ka din nila. second, gaano mo man kamahal ung tao, pag mali ung gingwa nio, kahit masaya ka kailangan mo magdecide para sa tama. kasi kahit kelan, hindi naging tama ang mali gaano man ang sayang binibigay nito sau. kaya ikaw, pag nanjan ung taong binibigyan ka ng time, wag mo siya i-take for granted. you never know when he'll have enough of you to the point na magsasawa na siya. kung ayaw mo sa kanya sabihin mo agad para di ka na nia pagaksayahan ng panahon. isipin mo na lang, madami pang naghihintay na mahalin nia. di nia lang makita kasi.. NAKAHARANG KA..

ganyan talaga eh..

madalas, pag naiipit tayo sa sitwasyon, tinatakasan antin. lumalayo tayo kasi feeling natin un na ung pinakamadaling paraan para makaalpas ka at makahinga. pero di natin alam, the more na iniiwasan natin un, the more na nahuhugot tayo paloob. sa pagiwas natin, layo tayong nilalapitan. kaya siguro, ang pinakamagandang gawin eh harapin un. give your decision and face the consequences. oo mahirap magdecide, lalo na kung sa pagdedecide mo alam mong may mawawala sayo. pero ganun talaga eh. you can't have anything you want. you need to learn how to let go. kc kung patuloy mong hahawakan ung isang bagay, hindi mo alam, nasasakal mo na pala. hanggang sa pinatay mo na. mas maganda na ung pinkawalan mo siya para lumigaya siya, kesa inangkin mo siya pero di naman siya masaya. ironic ang buhay eh. masanay ka na.


alam ko, madalas dumating sa buhay natin ung point na kailangan nating mamili, kung ito or ung isa. mahirap db? kc nga, ayaw nating makasakit ng damdamin ng iba. pag pinili mo yung una, masasaktan mo ung pangalawa. pag ung isa naman pinili mo, masasaktan mo ung isa pa. usually, sa ganitong sitwasyon pinipili ung safety line. ung tipong sa tanong na "this or that?" ung "or" ung pipiliin mo. playing safe eh. pero ang di natin alam na habang nagsesettle down tayo dun sa comfort zone natin, lalo lang natin pinahihirapan ung sarili natin. kung di ka pa magdedecide ngayon, kelan pa? pag malala na ung sitwasyon? pag magulo na? eh kung ganun  din naman pala, eh mas maganda na sanang nagdecide ka umpisa palang. at least sa time na un, hindi pa ganun kalalim ung confusion. nasa tao din kasi yan. sabi nga di ba, ikaw gagawa ng destiny mo. every decision  you make molds your future. it's either you decide for your happiness or you let it flow in any direction..