November 06, 2010. The day my grandpa died. Yes, he died. After all the hopes we put up, he loose his grip to life. I do understand. He is tired. He is already 89 years old and as the doctor said, he died because of old age. Many people who came during the wake told us that they know that Grandpa enjoyed his life. I am proud to be his grandchild. His favorite grandchild. But I miss him :(
During the time he's still living, he used to tell me stories about his struggle for independence during Japanese time. Yes, he is a soldier. He was one of the soldiers who survived during the "Death March". He survived the Marcos regime. But from all of this, he is the man who has been a father, a friend, a teacher and more. I admire him a lot. I am studying at the University of Santo Tomas, Manila because of him. During that time, I was torn between two schools, and two courses. I passed UST with the course of accountancy, while I was reconsidered in University of the Philippines (UP) with the course of dentistry. I want the accountancy course. But UP had been my dream school ever since. I was confused which to take. Then I walk to my Grandpa in his lounging chair (which he usually sit on) to ask him about it. He said to me that UST is good. He likes it. So I took it. And I never regret it. It was UST where I met my new friends whom I will be sharing my next years. And thanks to my loving Grandpa.
As I start the college, I randomly go home in Bulacan because of too many paperworks and reviews. I rarely see my Grandpa. But every time I go home, I always walk to him first to ask him, "Hey Joe! Wazzup?" while he'll answer, "I'm fine, Ja!". Then we'll make high five. I'll scratch his nose and he'll get mad at first but as I continued, he'll laugh hard. I taught him how to make "kalawit", "aprub" and "align". You know, childish stuff. I always tell him to wait for my graduation because it will be all in honor of him and he'll smile. I remember, there was this time where he cried as I bid him goodbye because I'm going back in Manila already. I felt how he missed me. I remember whenever he ask me to search his jacket and put it on to him, the times we watched TV together, eat together, laugh together.. I felt incomplete now..
It was this night where he was rushed to the hospital because of fever. He was admitted to the hospital for observation and medication. I was calm. Because I know he will make it. But i was wrong. Terribly wrong. I was away when my aunt called me to tell me that Grandpa was 50-50. He was put into a different hospital. Veterans. I was shocked. I don't know what to do. I can't cry. There's no tears in my eyes. I was numb that time. All I want was to go to him and hug him and tell him not to give up. I was praying so hard. When i visited him, he showed improvements. I was happy. If only i knew it won't be for so long. If only..
That morning of November 6, we went to SM to buy some things and relax a little. When we arrived home, we are already getting ready to go to Veterans to stay there to take care of him. It s that time the news came in. He is dead. I can't believe it. And there, all the emotions I was keeping inside of me flows. Tears run down my eyes. Just as I thought everything was fine, then it'll happen? NO! It can't be. But i have to accept it. I have to..
Here i am now. Writing this essay for my Grandpa. All the love I showed is not yet enough compared to the sacrifices ad love you've given me. I miss you Grandpa.. Hope to hug you again..
-till next time...
signed: missJerkyDoodleGirl
