Irony of Life

When i went to the hospital yesterday to visit my grandpa, I noticed that there's another patient in the ward. It has the same case like my lolo, but he looks older(even if he's younger). Then, there is someone taking care of him. or if she is really taking care of him. The girl said she is no relative of the patient. The family hire her to take care of the poor man. He's a good business man, as she said, but unfortunately have evil family(well, it's my opinion). I hate his family. Don't they even show respect to him? I just realized how lucky my Grandpa was for having loving and caring family. Poor man..




With this experience, it came to my mind what worse can money bring. It will took all the virtues you have and blind you with the glimmering gold, and push into your body and soul all the vice it contains.




-end-




signed: missJerkyDoodleGirl

Keeping these pent-up emotions in my heart..

So, here i am again. I just recently erased my other blog. I dunno why. But let's not talk about that. Let's talk about now. You see, me and my aunt went to the supermarket to buy things she need on her store. When we got it all, we go to another supermarket or mall (sorry for being redundant) to pay for our bills, you know that stuff. Then we went to the clothes store (which the second mall has so many) to buy a shirt for my cousin. When we got her shirt, we go window shop. Actually, i'm not that close to this aunt. As we're walking, we saw dresses that are good enough for a girl to drool. I am drooling for them, honestly. But i stopped my daydreaming (well, i always dream of wearing dresses, but they say i'm stupid or whatever :| ) when my ant say, "that's fit for Jovie". Jovie was my niece, (and her grandchild) and i hate to admit it, i am jealous of her. Well you see, it seems like i need to do everything to please my own family while she, she need not to do a thing because everyone admire her. Yeah, she's beautiful. She got brains too, but not as much as i have (pride aside). Others say that I, too, am beautiful but.. i know they just say that to keep me from crucifying myself (well, i think that's a pretty strong word ). I hate her. She's a stubborn girl who don't know how to appreciate things. But.. yeah, she's admire by almost everybody.. especially boys. I've never been admired like that before. Look, i know i'm being too emotional. And i'm being to sarcastic. And, a crab (crab mentality, you know?). But you can't blame me. I grew up like this because it's what people surrounding me molded me to. And it's frustrating. Another thing is, she's so weak that with a slight intervention with what she does, she got mad or cry. And everybody will pity her. But me? I am known to be though. And almost everybody expected me to be one. You know, the feeling where all you want is to sit down and cry on the shoulder of your best friend, then suddenly you'll realize your alone. That's what i feel before. Until now. I hate being compared, but i am always compared. I never found my true self. I am never free. These emotions i held for so long, they're nothing. Because I know I'll be wasting my time if i will explain my side. Why did I say that? Try to think of this: what's the essence of explaining yourself, if on the first place, you're already judged? Do you get me? If yes, then thanks you. Maybe you have had experienced what i had experienced. If no, then it's fine. it's always fine. Because you see? I'm used to it. :(







'till here..




signed: missJerkyDoodleGirl